We crazy thespians cannot afford to spend our time waiting to be hired. The nature of this business is so competitive that it would be impossible for us to stay, as we say in the branding world, top-of-mind without creating something for ourselves to do without waiting on others to take all of the action for us.
My life is changing dramatically at the moment and I'm enjoying embracing that and trying to decide what I want from life. I was at an Embrace Theatre Artistic Associates meeting last night where we discussed a myriad of things- but at one point we all went around and discussed our five year plan. I realized, with a small amount of shame, that I don't have one any more. I had a sense or an outline of one just a month ago that included someone that is no longer a part of my life, and now I am left with the simultaneously wonderful and daunting task of figuring out what I want just for me.
I know that I want to live in Saskatoon. However, I also want to travel for work, and would like to be open to moving somewhere else if I wanted to. I definitely want to go to Magnetic North again, too!
I want to work in theatre. As a performer? Yes. A producer? Sure. A designer? Quite possibly. A social media coordinator? Absolutely. But which ones when? I can keep going like mad for a few years yet, but what happens when I don't have the energy to be eighteen things any more? What do I want then?
I want a room in my living space where I can do puzzles. This is high on my list of priorities and for this I feel no shame.
I want to feel safe around the people that I work with. I want to be able to bring my honesty to the table in a way that is respectful and constructive. On the other hand,
I want to challenge people and not take shit. I don't want to be complacent to the things in my community that I find offensive, unnecessary, wasteful or hurtful. Knowing that I have been doing that makes me sad.
I want to continue to make progress with my health. I've already noticed a dramatic increase my in my physical fitness since the start of this year and want to continue on this path.
I probably want a million other things that I am not yet ready to articulate.
So, I have talked about some things that I want, but how do I get them?
Well, I've been doing more reading on things that I want to do. I'm trying to actively invest in being a better producer and social media manager so I can figure out how much I actually want to do those things.
I'm getting organized and re-organizing. The more I can know where everything is and how I've tracked it the easier it will be to return to it if I have to leave it aside for other projects.
I'm going back to the gym. For the obvious benefits.
I'm throwing myself into work now so if a travel opportunity comes up, I can take it without worry of not having the funds.
I'm putting money aside specifically for producing. Financially investing in something is a sure fire way to make it happen.
I'm trying to write a blog post once a week. Whether someone out there reads it or doesn't, I want to have some documentation to hold me accountable to the things that I am trying to do. I of course want this blog to be useful in some way to anyone who reads it, be it that it gives my friends insight into where I'm at, or gives someone ideas about how to approach their situation, or it creates a discussion between people.
Thank you for joining me. Coming up next (and very soon) for me is moving into a new place! In the spirit of moving forward without waiting for contracts, I am working with my friends on finding ways to keep expanding my creative practice, and I even enjoyed my opportunity to teach this past weekend because it forced me to be creative in a way that I haven't been for a long time! I loved realizing that I had a larger wealth of knowledge than I thought I did, and that I could change my lesson plan if I discovered that something worked or didn't work for a particular group. So I am moving forward. It doesn't matter if nobody else hires me, because I work for myself.